I wish I cried
I wish, like most women, I found tears useful
I wish they would make me feel better
Like I’ve been lead to believe
Not worse, like I have found to be true
But I don’t know catharsis
I go within, I recede
Emotion is best buried
Which is just as well
I’ve been taught expressing it only
Adds punishment
But once buried
The emotions mix, bleed together
Fear indistinguishable from dread, indistinguishable from humiliation,
Indistinguishable from guilt, indistinguishable from loneliness
All reduced to a brown roux of anger
The least honest emotion of them all
Unfortunately, like any radioactive stew
Nothing stays buried
Ground water is inevitably poisoned
After a while trees rot and die
The Earth rejects and
Eventually, all contamination seeps to the surface
Ravaging indiscriminately
